example: Princess Diana’s death

An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a
Canadian, using
Bill Gates’ technology which he got from the
Japanese.

And you are probably reading this on
one of the IBM clones that use
Philippine-made chips, and
Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries
driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally
sold to you by a Chinese!

You’ve had too much coffee when…

1.You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2.You sleep with your eyes open.
3.You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
4.The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
5. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
6. You’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
7. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
8. You chew on other people’s fingernails.
9.The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
10.You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
11. You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
12. You can jump-start your car without cables.
13. You don’t sweat, you percolate.
14. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
15. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
16. You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
17. People get dizzy just watching you.
18. Instant coffee takes too long.
19. You channel surf faster without a remote.
20. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
21. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
22. You short out motion detectors.
23. You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
24. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
25. You help your dog chase its tail.
26. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
27. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an l.V. hookup.
28. You ski uphill.
29. You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
30. You answer the door before people knock.
31. You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.